Saturday, 28 June 2014

Ramadhan Akhir Zaman

Malam 1 Ramadhan 1435H

"Ramadhan itu bukan kata nama, tapi kata kerja"

"Ramadhan tak akan pernah dapat ubah seseorang, jika dia tak menghayatinya"

Oh hati hati
tolong bangun
tolong sedar
tolong
paksa gerak
jangan biar kaku keras mati
tolong paksa cuci
tolong
Dia dah buka seluas luas peluang
Dia dah dengar
suara suara paling dalam
merayu dayu
mintak diselamatkan

tolong jangan pekakkan

kau ingat apa?
benda kecik?

ini soal hidup mati



Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Ada orang balik ke sarang

Lamanya tak conteng conteng.
Maaf..

Bukan pada sapa sapa
Tapi pada diri sendiri

Maaf,
kerana terlalu mengabaikan kau
dan kerana terlalu leka 'menjaga' manusia manusia lain

Maafkan aku,
Tuhan. T_T

11Syaaban1435 | bilikkalerful

Saturday, 12 October 2013

Sacrifice?

even until now, the eyes easily get wet when Friday comes.
even until now, nearly 4 months.

everytime i see people carrying their bags, with a smile
and yes, the answer is written on their faces, already.
i just waved my hand "Have a nice holiday home"

and as we passed each other
i turned around to see them again.
"how does it feel to be with loved ones every weekend, how does it feels when u can act like a 7-year-old kid again and be ugly anytime whenever u go back home each Saturday?"

it must be wonderful.
for i rarely (like seriously) can spend time with my family
even if i can, it would be like 4 or 5 days max (like seriously) after 2 months pass
but i know theres a lot out there who's been experiencing the same or even worse

like what i heard just now in Fardhu Ain class
about sacrifice, or in a deeper phrase - PENGORBANAN
about how Nabi Ibrahim a.s. and his beloved son, Nabi Ismail a.s.
they had just met after YEARSSS of separating from each other,
they had just started to spend time together, to exchange stories that were meant to be shared between son and dad

but on that very precious moment, Allah ordered Ibrahim to slaughter Ismail,
or to make it simple, taking away his own son's life with his own bare hands
in front of his own eyes

and yeah both of the beautiful souls accept it ,
to the extent that the slaughtering tool was sharpen and his body was tied to ensure the slaughtering process went smoothly
can u imagine that?
after hours and days and weeks and years of longing in asunder
and now they met just to bid farewell again?
ok just imagine you and your mom/dad in this position.

Allah is Most Merciful and Most Loving
He does everything for the best reasons and meanings
Ismail was replaced with a 'kibas' from Paradise
and Allah intended to test both of them as well as

believe it or not,
the story hit me hard, real hard
even though it had been told many times before
as if this time Allah is telling it right to my face "Dear Dini remember this , listen to this....."

how i can relate to this very much
how Allah reminds me of this in perfect timing
that my story is not that worse as compared to them, the holier ones

that,
parting is not always bad
sometimes (most of the times) u love them MORE

that
parting reminds you that this is not Jannah,
YET.

that
parting is a SACRIFICE (read BIG)
and right now i'm stepping on the same path at which the Prophets (a.s) had taken
and right now
this is a beautiful pain I love.







Sunday, 11 August 2013

Monolog

Aku mahu jadi yang sederhana itu
Pada pandangan manusia
Tapi yang tinggi
Pada pandangan Ilahi

..dan insan yang baru
mulai saat ini

Amiin ya Rabb..


Sunday, 26 May 2013

15 Rejab 1433H, the day

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

semalam pergi Masjid Taman Ria for the first time for this year.
with Nana and her adik,Aiman.
Nana kata ni last time before dia pi Kolej.
kami solat Maghrib and Isya'

habis solat Isya'.
tengok keliling.
tiga orang ja jemaah perempuan including both of us.
salam and peluk.

waktu nak bangun menuju pintu keluar tu.
sebak terus. rasa ada tangan tarik jangan pergi.
ahhh tambah dgn lampu oren yg selalu menyala waktu tarawih bulan Ramadhan.
ya la, tahun lepas waktu Ramadhan, lantai masjid ni yg selalu sambut aku.
lampu tu yang suluh jemaah-jemaah dgn romantiknya.

dan ketenangan itu yang selalu teman hati aku.
tapi tahun ni?
Ramadhan aku bukan kat sini lagi. rumah Allah yang aku suka.

plus, teringat muka mak, family, jiran-jiran and kawan-kawan.

oh Allah.
beri aku kekuatan . beri dia kekuatan. beri kami kekuatan.
Engkau Pemilik segala Kekuatan.

Actually hari ni best sangat. Keluar dgn family Nana. Balik rumah kacau dia and family. Lawak, happy, gila-gila and sedih semua ada. May Allah bless them, with His Love and Guidance. :)

Monday, 29 April 2013

.egduJ

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

sometimes we underestimate
we judge and we hate
we jump into conclusion too quickly

its not fair
to everyone around because
we have never walk in their shoes,
we never take time to listen to their stories

not fair to ourselves because
we steal our time which is given to check every inch of us
we are the real traitor
being unjust by letting ourselves get left behind, without improvement

not fair to Allah
because as if we are taking control of His Job
Allah Knows every single little things, every atom and every frequency ever existed in humans' hearts
while we are zero in that

we forget
Allah is waiting for that person to turn to Him
while we, the ignorant, waiting to see more of his bad attitude get revealed
to create an interesting story line about him.

AStaghfirullahal'azhim.........
may ALLAH forgive us..
and may we start extending love instead of passing judgement.

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Barzakh--Akhirah

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Assalamu'alaikum.

It's 3.14 am. And wide awake. Tidoq awal gills kan.

Hmmm..
Nak sharing some thoughts ja.
Actually, tadi baru dengar berita gempa bumi kat Iran. India and Dubai are affected.
Anggaran 40  orang depa jumpa yang terkorban.
Tiba-tiba rasa ya Allah, ramai yang dah tamat preparation dia kat dunia ni.
Cuba bayangkan, tengah dok syok makan, berguling tidur atas katil, ubah channel TV, sembang dengan kawan.
Tiba-tiba, THE END.
Ya, TAMAT.

Yang menakutkan dan buat aku terdiam lama...
Kalau waktu tu dia fikir nak bertaubat esok.
"Sempat kot ni. Alaa sat ja" 

Dengan solat tak sempurna lagi, masih tak khusyuk, puasa pun tak habis qada lagi,
Dosa dengan Allah kita tahu dan mampu ingat.
Macamna dosa dengan manusia pulak?
Berapa banyak yang kita tak bayar hutang, yang kita sangka buruk,yang kita caci dalam hati, yang kita umpat secara terang atau berlapik konon-konon lebih berbudi bahasa la kann. Felamakss hebat teori kau.

Betul kan.
We just need to admit our mistakes to realize more about it.
Dengan diri yang macam ni ka nak jumpa Tuhan. Dengan sikitnya sebut nama Allah dalam hati dan lidah. Sikitnya ingat Dia. Malu. Sebak.

Lepas mati.
Episod kita dalam kubur pulak. Ya, ngerinya fikir pasal introduction masuk kubur pun dah tarik nafas sebaldi . Kadang-kadang cuba imagine sendiri , waktu kita dibawa masuk dalam liang lahad. Kita nampak orang kambus tanah atas badan kita.
Mula-mula langit biru, lama-lama kabur, dan gelap GELITA.

We are all alone. With our deeds.
Aku ingat satu ayat ni,

"Kematian adalah satu permulaan pada KEHIDUPAN KITA YANG SEBENAR."

Death is just a beginning to our REAL LIFE.
So, anggapan kata kematian itu penamat hidup kita adalah totally wrong.
but wait, hidup kita kat dunia ni apa maknanya?

Kat dunia, kita bersiap sedia la.
Macam nak bina rumah. Kayu, simen, pasir,paku, gerudi, bumbung semua kena ada kan.
Its up to you nak bina rumah yang elok kukuh selamat dan kita bahagia dalam tu.
Atau rumah yang tak sempat buka pintu dah roboh kena kita, and ofcourse tak bahagia langsung.

Kat dunia kita boleh gerak tangan dan kaki buat bekal yang baik.
Tapi masuk ja alam barzakh, kita just sit there and watch how our lives will begin and go on. YA WE JUST WATCH AND DO NOTHING!
sebab kita langsung takda kuasa.
Bayangkan.

To conclude,
Dunia ni tempat berlatih, bersedia, bersusah, knowing our God, membentuk diri kita, tempat kita menulis jalan cerita kita lepas ni.

Alam barzakh, permulaan hidup, introduction.

Akhirat, hidup sebenar, our real hometown, our truest laughter and cry ever, tak perlu susah payah buat baik dah, we just receive and receive and receive endlessly..

Dan disebabkan dunia bukan hidup sebenar kita, dan tak termasuk pun dalam introduction hidup kita.
Nabi dah bagi gambaran nilai dunia tu. 
Supaya kita sedar selalu.


“Demi Allah,dunia ini dibanding akhirat ibarat seseorang yang mencelupkan jarinya ke laut; air yang tersisa di jarinya ketika diangkat itulah nilai dunia ” (HR Muslim).

Dunia - air kat jari
Akhirat - Laut

Obvious enough.
InshaAllah, jom muhasabah masing-masing.
Minta maaf semua kalau ada salah silap. Tolong tegur kesalahan saya..
Allahu'alam.
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